In my case this has meant that I have a strange and overwhelming feeling that I am deluding myself into thinking that I am pregnant when I am really not. I got past the constant fear of miscarriage, but not the fear that *something* is wrong. I feel movement, have heard the heartbeat, and have seen the baby on the ultrasound screen; yet, I can't seem to shake his sense that the whole thing is unreal, that I am "making it all up". It has made it extremely difficult for me to bond with the baby and I have felt really guilty about that. I just don't trust my body anymore.
We were hoping that the anatomy ultrasound would help remedy some of these issues. I hoped that seeing that everything was fine and seeing the baby in there would stop the doubts and that knowing the gender would help me bond with the baby. I thought that seeing that my body had managed to support the pregnancy thus far and created a healthy baby, placenta, and umbilical cord would help me begin to trust the process.
We invited Brian's mom along to the scan. She had never seen a pregnancy ultrasound before and we thought that it would be a nice experience for her. My mom lives eight hours away and wasn't able to be there, so we planned to call her on the phone so that she could be a part of things. We waited a long time for our appointment as they were busy and running behind. We finally got our turn and the ultrasound tech got started on taking the images that they needed.
The point of the anatomy scan is to determine whether the dates are correct for the pregnancy, that the baby is the appropriate size for the gestational age, and to check to make sure that there are no defects, malformations, or other issues with the fetus' anatomy, the placenta, amount of amniotic fluid, or the uterus and cervix.
Here is a list of what they want images and measurements for:
- Face (profile, lips, nose)
- Brain (ventricles, choroid plexus, mid-brain, posterior fossa, cerebellum, cisterna magna, measurements of anterior and posterior horns of lateral ventricles)
- Skull (shape, integrity, Biparietal diameter-BPD and head circumference-HC measurements)
- Neck (nuchal fold thickness)
- Spine
- Heart (rate, rhythm, 4-chamber views, outflow tract)
- Thorax (shape, lungs, diaphragm)
- Abdomen (stomach, kidneys, liver, bladder, wall, umbilicus, cord and cord insertion, abdominal circumference- AC)
- Limbs (femur, tibia, fibia, humerus, radius, ulna, hands, feet femur length- FL)
- Genitals (gender, abnormality)
- Cervix (length and opening)
- Placenta and amniotic fluid
- The placenta, which has a fundal location. That means it is at the top of the uterus, which is great.
- The amniotic fluid level was fine.
- The umbilical cord and cord insertion looked good.
- The baby's abdomen was normal, though they need more images for liver, kidneys, and bladder.
- The heart was perfect.
- The top of the spine was looking great, though we need more images of the end of the spine.
- The neck looked OK and she got clear nuchal fold measurements which will indicate the risk of Down syndrome
- All of the brain and skull measurements were normal and images were clear.
The baby was in a longitudinal lie in the breech position with it's legs crossed underneath it, its arms held tight to the body, and it's head down and leaning forward (sort of like it was looking at my cervix).
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| Peanut was in this position with its head down, tough it is MUCH smaller |
It made it so that we weren't able to see or get images of the face, thorax, limbs, genitals, and cervix. The ultrasound tech tried changing my position, having me walk the halls briskly, and having me use the restroom. Nothing was getting Peanut to budge. Despite all of the pushing and pressing from the transducer (which is the paddle that transmits the waves through the abdomen), Peanut was enjoying a cozy nap. We were there for a really long time trying to get the images before the tech decided that it was time to give up. Peanut was not going to cooperate.
They made us an appointment on the 18th to come back for a follow-up ultrasound to get the rest of the measurements and images. We'll hope that Peanut is less stubborn and more cooperative at the next appointment.
We went out to lunch after the ultrasound and when we were riding in the car on the way to the restaurant, I felt Peanut start moving around. Of course! Peanut was also active after I ate my lunch. Maybe the fact that the next appointment is after lunch will be helpful.
I left the appointment disappointed. Not because I didn't know the gender, which is the impression that people seemed to get. It was a letdown because I can't say that I know that everything looked fine and I can just relax. I am trying to remember that our parents and grandparents survived their pregnancies not knowing what was going on "in there". It is difficult, though, as I already pointed out, when you spent your entire adulthood dealing with hormone imbalance, convinced you would never conceive or have a normal pregnancy. I am doing my best to relax and enjoy the process. But it is HARD. And Peanut is stubborn. I guess I will have my hands full. :)
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